I hate to be in the crowd of someone that lost a loved one too early, but here I am and I know there are many of us. What I would do to have my mom around to have had the chance for her to meet my husband! I totally get how it can be hard for so many couples to miss someone close to them during each stage of their wedding planning. I would like to offer some ideas here to honor those loved ones who have passed on at your wedding day celebrations in hope that it may feel like they are closer, if at least for a moment (Scroll to the bottom to watch the YouTube video instead.).
I believe memories that pop up of those people you are missing during your planning process can give you inspiration. Say you get teary-eyed wishing your Grandma could bake cookies to help ease your nerves, there ya go, share Grandma’s cookies (with her special recipe and the copies of it to share) with your wedding guests. Say you are missing the way your Dad cracked you up adding root beer to his drinks, then make a specialty drink “Joe’s Brew” with a sign dedicating his drink at the bar. Maybe you loved playing cards with your best friend who is no longer here, set up a table with some cards on it and a sign at the table encouraging guests to play some cards in memory of “so and so”. Even if no one ends up playing cards you can look over and know they were included in the day. Though of course, there are more examples than these, here are some examples I have seen, heard of, or thought up:
-A monogram over the groom’s chest in honor of his loved one. Wow! Talk about taking close to the heart literally! What a beautiful gesture!
-A photo of the deceased loved one on a folding chair at the front of the cathedral and during the ceremony.
-Placing a bouquet, corsage, or boutonniere in front of a photo during or before the ceremony.
-Add a favorite food of theirs to your day whether for dinner, dessert, or a snack to share with your guests.
-Make them an honorary part of the wedding party: ask someone else in the bridal party to partner up with the honorary wedding party member carrying their photo down the aisle, placing it up front, and taking the photo back down the aisle afterward.
-As part of the wedding ceremony processional, carry a photo and/or items with significant meaning to where that person would be sitting. An example would be a clothing item like a sweater or flannel or something they collected.
-Wear her wedding dress. If your mom, aunt, or grandma has passed, then wearing her gown is a very special way to pay her honor.
-Incorporate their favorite songs whether more formal at the ceremony (which could be noted in the wedding program) or a favorite dance song that the DJ could announce at the reception.
-Doing shots at the reception in remembrance, with either the DJ making an announcement for all who want to gather or a toast with a few words shared either by the bride/groom or a pre-appointed loved one.
-Select a wedding venue that was close to that loved one’s heart. From Grandma’s farmhouse to your sister’s favorite beach it could be very special to feel closer to that passed-on person throughout the day.
-For the bride who lost her Dad, attach a charm with a photo of your dad to your shoe so he can “walk you down the aisle”. Hard not to cry just typing that one!
As far as honoring our loved ones we miss, I say if nothing creative comes to mind it doesn’t hurt to follow some traditional ways of showing them remembrance. Often I see charms on the bride’s bouquet so she can hold those who have passed away close by. The other typical way to honor loved ones at a wedding is by placing photos around the ceremony and reception for all to remember. All beautiful ways to give honor! Another very common gesture is to light candles, as they are incredibly ceremonial and add to the beauty of your event.
This is a tricky part of weddings and I encourage you to reach out to me on our contact page if you would like to pick my brain for a creative way to honor your loved one at your wedding. It would be my privilege to get to help. As much as it hurts and as much as you wish that person/people could be there on your big day, they would want you to be happy! Planning a wedding that you desire would be what your loved ones wanted. Following your heart (even with some tears), we truly believe weddings can be fun! After all, we know better than anyone how precious life truly is!
Cheers,
Rachel
Check out our YouTube video on this blog to see more photos of these ideas: https://youtu.be/ByUuONS15lg
