To First look or not: It’s a tricky decision! Sometimes it releases nerves so that the rest of your day can be more relaxed, and sometimes it can make the timeline more stressful, which clearly doesn’t help anything including the romance.
When there’s plenty of extra time in the day, the first look with your love before all eyes are on you can help both the bride and groom relax. So many times at the first look we see the bride and groom so excited and then you see this sigh of relief on their face! After seeing each other for the first time, the bride and the groom have their security blanket with them to navigate this unusual (and very exciting) day. How strong your support system is without your fiancé is also a good thing to consider. If the people getting ready with you actually stress you out, a first look may be helpful! As a photographer/videographer I must also say that the first look gives us much more time and better angles to get shots of you two alone. If your day is already on a tight timeline or you have an early wedding it could possibly add stress to do one more wedding event.
Another option is the anti-look. So you want to wait until the ceremony to see each other but you’d love to have a moment to connect ahead of time. In your case, you can stand back to back with a door between you holding hands. It’s a great photo opportunity and you get that calm before the storm holding hands. You could simply chat for a bit or read letters to each other. I actually find this option quite romantic! If you decide to go with the anti-look make sure to tell your photographer ahead of time because a door that would photograph well can be tricky to find, but well worth the hunt.
If you are a very traditional bride who has dreamed of having your groom gaze into your eyes with a tear falling down his cheek as you walk down the aisle, you already know your answer. In your case, skipping the first look, I highly recommend you talk to your groom about how important this moment is to you. I hate to tell you ladies, but most guys have literally never even talked about this moment with their friends growing up! Can you imagine!?! Photographing weddings I have seen too many guys stand at the front like a deer in the headlights, not knowing where to look when and so afraid of “messing up” that they don’t always have a photo-ready look on their face or even look at the bride all the time! I have the opportunity at a first look to remind the groom how important this moment is for his bride and encourage him to try to relax and enjoy his bride and not try to hold back any emotions. It’s hard for many grooms to instinctively know this is not a wedding detail to check off a list but an important heartfelt moment. I can assure you many grooms have thanked me for this tip. As a bride who says no to the first look, I highly encourage you to have this conversation ahead of time!
There is one more option that even took me by surprise at a recent wedding. The bride and groom decided they wanted to do a “first look” after the wedding ceremony. They said “We will just pretend”, knowing they wanted photos of him taking her in but not enough time before the ceremony for one more thing. It truly was a beautiful moment! Who would have thought? I just love it when couples get creative! That reminds me of my theory on weddings: remember that it’s your big day so follow YOUR dreams (whatever they may be!) when it comes to planning! Following this advice, I have seen that weddings can be fun!
Cheers,
Rachel
